I Drink Your Milkshake

One day I was walking on James st in Northbridge. I was passing that nightclub next to the Brass Monkey. One of those nightclubs that kept changing it's name every three months. It was TIME for a while then something else, then DV8. Who calls a nightclub DV8 and isn't the kind of person that sits in the park and stares at women passing for 6 hours? I ask you. It was like someone just had alot of money from our recent Boom and just went "Fuck it, I'm going to make a club so that I don't have to sit in the park. I'll make them come here. Then we can stare at them and get them drunk". Awesome. I don't know about you but I when I come into Port from fighting badguys I would definitely go to Northbridge - more importantly - I want to go to the one that has painted my flag right across their club, then tried to paint over it, only to do half of it and then leave it so that there is just white and red stripes - the Swiss sailors love that shit.

Anyway, I digress. I was walking past DV8 or whatever the fuck it was called at that point. What do the owners think?

"Business isn't so great Sampson. What should we do?"
"Change the name, that'll fix our monetary woes"

Awesomeness.

Anyway, I digress. I was walking past that place that I love and there was a promotional poster for some HipHop night, Presumably on at the HipHop Capital of Australia DV8 or whatever the fuck it was called at that point. In true HipHop style there was a pretty lady (I say "Pretty lady" with my generic European accent in my head as I type it... Pretty lady... Gets me everytime).

Anyway, I digress. But not really if you think about it. Actually you don't need to think about it because it is quite obvious that I wasn't digressing then, I just said it to fill up time and feel better about how much I wrote today. Well Done Ben!

Anyway, I digress. At that precise moment a young man was skate boarding and he stopped at the poster. I stopped. He looked at the poster. And without looking to see if someone was looking he reached up and touched the pretty lady (Oh Edwardo) on her 2 dimenional breast. The man; who shall be called Faceman from now on, then mumbled something and took off leaving nothing but a confused Ben and a felt up poster.

Then. the other day I was standing at a bus stop waiting for it's namesake to come, when the same thing happened again. Sans Faceman and his crazy skateboard antics of course. This time this older guy; who shall now be called Mr Catcher Fellowgood, was standing next to the advertisement - which was for Sultana Bran or some shit - looked at the poster, then proceeded to reach and grab the glassy 2 dimensional breast of the chick who was happier and more successful because she ate Sultana Bran or some shit. He didn't even care if someone was watching. Which they were. They being me.

Is there something that these ladies of advertising are offering that I am not aware of?Mr Fellowgood, Faceman, if youby some cosmic transaction stumble upon and read my fair internets page you should be ashamed of yourselves. Those ladies didn't do anything except try to inform you about what was going on and all you did was tarnish their good reputation and disrespect them by copping a feel. Now if you excuse me, I am going to touch pictures of myself... I think I even freaked myself out when I said that.

Anyway, I digress.